One of the first things that came to mind is the body image issues many girls face. Girls, from a very early age, are presented with images of how society thinks they should look. Namely, thin and beautiful. I can't change the images Squishy is presented with without sheltering her to a crazy person extent, so I made the decision early on that I wanted to set a good example for her. A good example of how to take care of yourself and be happy with your body.
Here's the thing, I don't take good care of my body and I'm definitely not happy with it.
Ever since I was in about fourth grade, I've been chubby. This has been a continuous trend except for sophomore year of college when I dropped weight through a lot of hard work, in a healthy way. To drop that weight I worked out almost everyday for an hour a day and I counted calories. I did drop about 20 pounds total over a few months; but, I was healthy and I felt good about myself. Then people started making comments about "how thin" I was. Keep in mind, I am 5'2 and weighed 125 pounds which is no wear near underweight. I found out family members were floating around the idea that I had an eating disorder. It sucked. I felt shamed for what I had achieved. Then, when I suffered some drama in my life I just let the weight come back because it was easier.
In retrospect, I realize people were probably jealous of my success and looked to belittle it.
It's time to change my life again. This time for good. I want to set a healthy example for Squishy. I want to be better about the foods I put into my body. I want to make sure she sees me exercise and stay fit. And I want to do all of this without her ever hearing me talk about calories or my weight. I've seen weight obsessed parents raise kids who might be thin and fit; but, they are also unhealthily preoccupied by weight.
So, how am I going about this? It's starting with working on my fitness. I signed up for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon at Disneyland in January 2013. I've run in the past and enjoy it; but, lost all my stamina while I was pregnant. So, I'm starting from scratch using my Couch to 5k app (which I love) and when I'm done with that I'll switch over to my Higdon Half Marathon app. For now I run three days a week.
I've also started doing Turbofire again. I wait until Squishy is tired and then I put her in her crib while I work out in the nursery using the video from my laptop. We've only done it once so far but it worked pretty well.
I like Turbofire because it's fast paced so it goes by quickly, it offers modifications, and I get results (I've done it in the past). By the end of the workouts I look like a tomato, I'm dripping in sweat, and tired. I did it on Tuesday and last night I was feeling the burn in my upper body.
|Before Turbofire workout|
|After Turbofire workout|
I'm also trying to make sure I put better foods in my body. I'm a super picky eater and I didn't really grow up eating veggies. I've been working hard to find recipes that make veggies yummy. I want Squishy to be exposed to a lot more healthy food.
My final mini goal is to stop eating my feelings. As a teen, I used to binge when I was bored. I don't do that anymore; but, I do still eat my feelings. Mainly with desserts. If I'm sad I make myself feel better with a treat. If I've had a bad day, I make it better with a treat. If I am celebrating an accomplishment, I celebrate with a treat. I don't want Squishy to pick up on my bad habits.
My hope for Squishy as an adult
- She knows how to keep her body fit and healthy through exercise
- She knows that food is delicious but it's fuel and putting crap into your body makes it work poorly
- She knows that everything is okay in moderation and recognizes that treats don't need to be a daily thing
- She never obsesses about her weight or calories because good choices and healthy living are the most important things.
I just keep reminding myself that this is for Squishy and for me. I deserve to be healthy and happy with myself and for once I'm not going to give up on myself in regards to my goals.